Sofi's Family

Family.

Family is such a beautiful thing.

God designed it, and we were made for it.

Family is why we are on this journey,

and family is helping us make it through.

I am so thankful for all the family that surrounds me.

I have my family - family.

My church family.

My Central family.

My Woodlawn family.

My friends - who - never - leave - me family.

It's really quite outrageous.

Everyone should experience love like this.

#glimpsesofheaven

The word "family" speaks so much love and hope.

The word "orphan" splits me to the core.

I struggle to type it.

I want so badly to thank all my family who give so much.

So much has been given and shared and sacrificed on behalf of Sofi and our family.

There are no words for the love we have received.

I want to reciprocate.

I want each person to somehow feel the depth of their impact, but nothing is adequate.

I pray deeply for God to pour blessings into your lives; for you to know our gratitude.

It's not easy to receive.

I am so humbled by the level of generosity I have experienced over the last few years.

Just the last few weeks and days have overwhelmed me.

I love my family.

I am deeply moved by your love for God, displayed in such beautiful kindness.

Precious donations

T-shirts and jewelry

Little lambs and clothes

Anonymous packages

Surprise shower

Money tree gifts

Loving scriptures

Texts and comments

Hugs and smiles

Substitutes and extra jobs

Plane ride games

and PRAYERS

Thank you for showing us the love of God!

You are Sofi's family.

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.  - 1 John 4:12

Each Breath

Intense.
This adoption process.
And the intensity grows in each step.
All parents understand the weight of a life that is dependent on you.  You want to give them your all and not miss a moment of need.
That weight is indescribable as we work to get to our little Sofi.
She is mine, but she is out of my reach.

We have constantly given these anxieties to God  (just as we do for our other kids), but the frequency of those requests has been a bit outrageous in the last weeks.
I'm thankful my God can handle it all!!
God has been so present and so real that I really cannot explain how His presence has felt.  I have needed him in a special way, and He has met every need in every moment.
He has whispered promises to me that have sustained me.

I have been so completely confident in God's sovereignty.  He has proven over and over His control over the timing and details in this adoption, but anxiety is real.
I have literally prayed for breath.
I pray, and God answers.

I have sung Great Are you Lord so many times this week.  The words are just beautiful.
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise


"Great Are You Lord" (excerpt)

You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken

Great are You, Lord

It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
To You only

All the earth will shout
Your praise
Our hearts will cry
These bones will sing
Great are You, Lord

It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
To You only

I have offered God praise using the very breath He has given.
He provides and I return it back to Him.  He is so worthy.

This morning at church, the worship team (which leads beautiful, Spirit-filled worship) included this song. I immediately felt God's presence as He spoke so clearly about all those prayers He heard this week.  I was praising Him and thanking Him, and then that song washed over me.

I feel God in each moment and each breath.
If He is sustaining me, then how much more is He caring for His sweet child, Sofi.
I can put Sofi, Luke, Kate, and Drew in His hands.
What an awesome God!!
He is a God who gives us each breath.

___________________________________
We are at the best part of our adoption journey!
If you want to follow our trip to China, you can join our FB group.
Just click here to join, or you can find a link on my FB page.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1779644752303183/?ref=bookmarks

The Countdown: Ready for Forever!

We are officially in travel countdown.  Today marked 12 days until we fly to China!

Today was another miracle.
Travel Approval from China can be a few days or a few weeks.  Today was our deadline to travel in November, and we were approved in 4 days.
So thankful!!!

God has proven His love and sovereignty over and over.

My mind scrolls videos and projects, and it helps me to get them out.

Ten days before we found our sweet Sofi I posted a video of our waiting in this post.

Now - two months later - 12 days from travel - the sequel: 
Thousand More

We are so ready for forever with our beautiful Sofi!

No Guts, His Glory

My mind is in a full spin cycle.
Not a joke.
So many details and to-do lists, but no brain to help me.
My nerves are frazzled, and sometimes I almost can't breathe.
Then I pray.
Five minutes later, I'm praying it again.

This entire journey has been built on faith.
God has proven His sovereignty over and over.
We said yes, and then hoped for things that didn't always go as we thought.
But we have been confident in what God was doing all along. 
It's been beautiful to discover some of the hidden miracles.
But, it's also been hard.  It's hard to wait for those things.
It's hard to wait and know Sofi waits alone.


I almost didn't type that sentence.


Sofi has been alone, but that is not God's will.
God has changed that.

That's why we are here.  That's why we have waited.
That's why my mind spins.
None of this makes sense. 
No one should be alone.

Sofi, we are coming!

I pray - as I have for the last 3 1/2 years - that her heart would know love even before we bring it.
Sofi is ours, but first she is God's.
Drew is God's.
Kate is God's.
Luke is God's.

I have always prayed that God would somehow use me to love them.  I need Him in every moment, because I'm just not capable.

I pour everything I have into my children, but it's really not enough.
Only He is enough.

I'm not enough for Drew, Kate, and Luke, and I'm certainly not for Sofi, but God fills in the gaps.

I constantly give my children to Him.

No guts.

This trip around the world. 
The Paperwork.
$45,000.
A public blog.

These things do not come from me.
God always calls us to something bigger than we can handle.

For His Glory.

God's "glory" is not about awe and fame.
God's glory is about more people knowing Him.

My weakness means I need Him.
My weakness means I need others.

And He shows up through others.

The beauty of His glory is the changing of hearts.
God, being God, can do as He pleases,
but how much greater is the One who can change us and work through us.
How much more can He be proven good, than by the reality of people (with free will) choosing His direction and accomplishing His will.

God's plans have brought change in me.
Following God means you can expect sanctification/refinement.
And, you can't purify something without exposing the scum.

My scum surfaces.
Scum of anxiety and impatience.
The guilt of self-reliance.
This process has highlighted many flaws, and I have changed - and I need more change.

I've got NO GUTS on my own, y'all.
None.

I am private and quiet, but my soul wants to scream God's goodness.
I knew immediately that God wanted us to share this story and more.

I am so thankful!
I am thankful for God's presence, love, and provision.
He has spoken it and shown it to me in so many ways.
He has been writing the most beautiful story, and you are in it.
My family, my friends, my church.
God's glory has shown through you!

No guts here, but I do trust Him.
I desperately want Travel Approval next week, so I am praying big prayers.
We are all praying.


This story is ongoing.
I'm changed and changing, but I'm sure I won't have enough guts for our next steps either.
God will be glorified, because all good things come from Him.


But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.  
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. . .
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.   
James 1: 2-5; 16-17