I just can't miss a night.
Every night I get the snuggles and kisses. It changes over time - as they grow - but I love to tuck them in.
Lots of squeezes and snuggles for the babies as they fall asleep, then on to blowing kisses as I slip out the door for the big kids - at least as long as that lasts.
Right or wrong, I never let them fret in the night or "cry it out". Touch and presence speak love, and I never wanted my love to be silent or absent.
That's what made Luke's week in NICU so excruciating.
I was supposed to hold him, snuggle him close, and hug away the fears of a big world.
Wrapped and swaddled tightly to your mom - that's how it should be.
So - there I lived in the NICU.
I would cup those chubby cheeks in my hand and pray over those little lungs.
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In February 2013, God led us to begin the adoption process.
We immediately began praying for the child God was bringing into our family.
We prayed very specific prayers. We had no idea where she was or the circumstances of her life, but there were things we did know to pray.
We prayed for her health and care.
We prayed specifically for the people around her: the other children and her caregivers.
We prayed that God would bring people into her life to care for her and love her in a special way.
Although we didn't know anything about her story at that point, we know adoption begins with loss.
Tragedy
Abandonment
No parents
Alone
Orphan
Who would hold her?
What would happen in the transitions?
Life in an orphanage . . .
Who would swaddle?
Who would cup her cheeks?
I prayed for someone to hold her.
I prayed for God Himself to hold her.
I prayed God would provide special people and special care.
I prayed she would feel loved.
I prayed these things every day for those 3 1/2 years.
We prayed these things as a family every Sunday night.
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November 28, 2016
Finally.
Finally our beautiful daughter was in our arms.
We held her.
We protected her.
So many answered prayers - more than we even knew.
As Sofi was given into our arms, we were given a note.
The note was a polite request for us to email an update on Sofi - if we didn't mind.
Even in the chaos of those moments, I was struck by the thought of that concern and desire.
Obviously I didn't mind.
After we came home and settled about a week, I sent an update with a few photos to the email address given. I wasn't even exactly sure who the recipient was, but was thrilled to show how wonderful and healthy Sofi was.
A reply came.
The director of the care center where Sofi had lived replied, speaking some of the sweetest words about our Sofi. She and her daughter had a special love for Sofi. Sofi went to this care center almost immediately after going to the orphanage. The director spoke of Sofi's smile, even as an infant. She was tiny, weak, and malnourished - but had an unmistakable smile. The director's daughter had especially loved Sofi. She said her daughter always went to Sofi when they visited the center and wanted her mom to adopt Sofi.
I can't even explain the depth of all this as I think on all those prayers.
Sofi was loved in special ways and special people came into her life - JUST AS I HAD PRAYED.
And it gets better -
I sent another update last week since we have now been home 6 months. (hooray for 6 months!)
The reply from the director included:
"One of our home's mission is to prepare the children to a family that
God has planned for them. Praise God that He is truly a faithful God!"
Tears poured as I read these words. Sofi was in CHRISTIAN care in China.
God is truly so faithful!
I can't explain the blessing of knowing how God was answering prayers and caring for Sofi in such amazing ways.
We have seen evidence of this love and God's presence in the way she has transitioned.
And, I was able to tell the director that she was an answer to prayer and thank her for loving and caring for Sofi - and so many others. (Such an important and burdened job.)
It's really all beyond description, but I can't contain these miracles of God's love.
There are just so many examples in Sofi's story of God's love. He has moved and worked in big and small ways.
I know - without a doubt - that God called us at that time (9 months before she was born), because He wanted us to pray over Sofi from the beginning of her life.
And, I can assure you that the praying continues.
I still pray every day for Sofi (- and Drew - and Kate - and Luke.)
Even though she is in our arms now,
He still holds her.
She belongs to God. All of my children are His.
We are thankful for them and thankful He has entrusted us with their care,
but we pray He holds them.
Always.
"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9
